1 Peter 3:1-7 Husbands
and Wives, Heirs Together WC
McCarter
Introduction
Read the
creation story from Gen 1:1, 26-28; 2:7-8, 18-25. From the very beginning of
human history, God was creating and ordaining. One of the very first human
institutions, was the covenant of marriage, and it was ordained by Almighty God.
God created men and women; He ordained marriage by bringing Adam and Eve
together (which was part of the design for procreation); He gave more
directives for marriage in the Law of Moses; He rebuked hard-heartedness and
taught more about marriage in the person of Jesus Christ; and, finally, He
inspired His apostles to write down profound truths and mysteries concerning
the institution of marriage. In the New Testament we find many sections
concerning the covenant of marriage—how Christian marriage resembles Christ’s
relationship with the church; how our homes are to be structured in light of
cultural structures; fornication, adultery,
Let’s talk a
moment about the culture’s view of manhood and womanhood and how a biblical complementarian
view is by far in the minority. There are two major views: (1) Egalitarianism—there should be no
distinction between genders, and (2) Complementarianism—there
are God-ordained gender roles that wonderfully fit together in the home and
church. There are so many ways to go about this topic, and there is much that
needs to be said. Let us take a look at our passage in First Peter today and come
back to this subject soon.
READ Scripture- This is the Word of God
Wives, Submit to Your Husbands (1-2)
Peter is
doing two things in the first two verses: (1) he is speaking to wives in
general about how they are to relate to their husbands in the home, and (2) he
is speaking to women who are married to unbelieving men.
Let’s take
the first point: Peter
says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” This is certainly in keeping with
the rest of the New Testament (Eph
5:22-24; Col 3:18). The two great apostles, and we may assume the other
apostles and the early church, were in agreement on this issue. To reinterpret
this teaching or to completely ignore it, is to make a grave mistake which
causes many other problems in the handling of God’s word. This is also in
keeping with the illustration that is used in the passage of Sarah’s submission
to Abraham. The context of that narrative is Sarah’s laughter at God’s promise
of a child in Gen 18:12, but the
point that Peter is making is that even in the midst of flippancy and laughter,
Sarah maintains great respect for her husband. We will come back to this in a moment.
Lastly, let us affirm that Peter’s teaching here is also in keeping with the
order of creation. The Genesis account shows that God created Eve to be a
helpmate to Adam. Together they were created in the image of God, equal in the
eyes of God but with different roles according to gender.
Notice that
Peter says, “Wives, likewise. . . .” He fits this teaching within a larger
context of how all Christians are to submit to certain structures in the
culture, workplace, and home. Citizens, employees, wives, and husbands all have
certain roles and newfound meaning in relation to those around them on the
basis of Christ’s humility, submission, sacrifice, and resurrection. In verse
one specifically Peter instructs women to submit to “your own husband.” Thus,
we are not talking about all women submitting to all men. There is something
special about gender roles in the home. Male headship is assumed, and will be
addressed in verse seven, and female support of the headship is affirmed.
Next, we may
turn to the second point: Peter
wants to help Christian wives who are married to unbelieving husbands. Wives in
the Roman culture were expected to follow whatever religion their husband had
chosen. Christianity was viewed as insubordinate because women were invited to
abandon their previous religious system and trust in Christ no matter if their
husbands believed or not. The same is true today that was true of the first
century—many women have put their trust in Christ while their husbands have
not. Now, everyone wants their loved one to come to a saving knowledge of the
truth of Jesus Christ. So, what is a wife to do when her husband does not
believe? Should she take an aggressive evangelistic approach—constantly warning
him, reading him Scripture, badgering him to come to church?
Peter’s
answer to that is, No. He affirms a more passive approach, a word-less
approach. This is not a general evangelistic strategy for all of us. The
sentiment from Francis of Assisi, "Preach the gospel at all times; when
necessary, use words” is not biblical. We are commanded to open our mouths and
share the Good News. Yet, for the woman who is marries to an unbelieving
husband, she is instructed to convince him of the truth of Christianity by her
conduct. It was highly appropriate for a wife to submit to her husband in this
way in hopes that the wife’s quiet and gentle submission would reflect well on
the church and bring about his conversion. Submission certainly is a way that
the godly woman brings her unbelieving husband to the Faith.
Fear, we
have already discussed, is first and foremost a healthy fear of God that puts
everything in proper perspective. The wife should respect and honor her husband
primarily with her faith in the Lord in mind. So, as we have already seen, Paul
says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” So, the
evangelistic plan for a woman married to an unbeliever is reasonable submission to his leadership (as much as possible while
still obeying Christ), quietness and gentleness, surely private prayer for him,
and pure conduct. That makes a world of difference. Now, make a mental note,
this is not a guarantee that the man will be converted. This is not a
guarantee, but Peter teaches that this is the godly approach. This is the best
way to bring about his conversion to Christ.
Adorn the Heart (3-6)
Women were
often viewed in the first century as constantly seductive. The wealthier women
would dress up in order to manipulate the men around them. Of course, that is
not so different today. We also know that men often flaunted their wealth and
status by buying elaborate clothing and jewelry for their wives. While the
women are called to reasonably submit to their husbands, they are not to count
their beauty as merely outward. This does not mean that they cannot wear
jewelry at all. It means that they are not to set their minds on or find their
identity in external things.
This is in
keeping with what the Scripture teaches about holy women. The most famous of
passages concerning a godly woman is Proverbs 31. The wisdom of that passage
says in verse 25, “Strength and honor are her clothing,” and in verse 30 we are
told, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the
Lord, she shall be praised.” You see, the definition of a holy woman begins
with, “She hopes/trusts in God.” Look at verse five—the holy women of former
times trust in God and adorned themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. She
does not put her hope in her outward appearance. She does not put her trust in
her jewelry. She does not ultimately put her hope in her husband. She
puts her hope in the Lord.
To be gentle
and quiet was a standard virtue in the culture and was also seen as important
in the Christian community but with a slight difference—keeping a gentle and
quiet spirit is precious (of great worth) not only in the sight of the husband
and the community but, most importantly, in God’s sight.
Sarah’s
example of willing submission comes from Gen 18:12. The word “lord” does not
mean master as if the woman is seen as a slave. The term is simply one of
respect much like the word “sir.” The point is, as we noted before, that Sarah
thought of her husband respectfully.
There would
have been the potential of husbands attempting to intimidate or manipulate their
wives into leaving the Faith, but Peter tells the women to continue to do what
is right and to have no fear. So, we see another virtue, Christian women are to
be fearless.
Husbands, Honor Your Wives (7)
Peter now
turns to husbands for only a brief statement, and he assumes that their wives
are believers. Rather than lording over his wife like many of the pagans,
Christian men were to live with them with understanding, that is, being
considerate of their wives and showing respect to them. While men in the first
century were not held accountable for how they treated their wives—they could
be harsh, abusive, adulterous, divorce them for almost anything, etc.—Christian
men were instructed to love, honor, cherish, appreciate, and understand their wives,
viewing them as equals in the grace of life.
Women are
seen in two ways here:
(1) As
weaker vessels (or, weaker partners). Women are seen as generally weaker,
physically speaking, than their male counterparts and are thus more vulnerable.
This may also refer to their lower status in the Roman world. Now, mark it down,
the New Testament never describes women as inferior to men in mind or morals.
Women are always seen as equals in capabilities.
(2) As heirs
with their husbands of the grace of life. Men and Women are always seen in the
New Testament as equal heirs to the benefits of Christ.
Lastly, Peter
suggests that a husband who is not considerate and honoring of his wife will
have an issue with God. Our heavenly Father will not hear the prayers of a man
who takes advantage of his wife.
Conclusion and Christian Application
(1) The wives are not instructed to
submit to their husbands to the point of compromising their Christian
convictions. After all, they are told to trust in God and to do good.
(2) Women, stop trying to do it all.
Expect your husband to lead. Want him to lead. Encourage him to lead.
(3) Discuss how relevant the discussion
of biblical manhood and womanhood is: (a) the problem of radical feminity (b)
the problem of the homosexual lifestyle (c) the problem of fatherlessness à teen pregnancy, abortion, gangs, boys who
grow up to be abusive, etc.